This poem is about you and how
You leave licks of naked flames
On my skin, with imperfect
Fingers lingering, drawing
Ancient symbols I’ll never decrypt,
It’s about how your eyes burn
Right through my soul, forcing out
Unfamiliar sentiments that float
Above our shoulders, and I dare not
Hang them on your white walls. This poem
Is about how we slow dance.
I never claimed to posses you;
Love does not seek to do so,
Yet you had planted your heart
In the shadow of my oak,
And while my roots were nourished
By the soul of the earth,
I felt yours starve.
We drank from the same cup,
Neither of us ever fully satisfied;
Our togetherness was crowded,
Choking the life out of love.
We coudn’t change the course of love,
Even as we headed for treacherous rocks.
Battered, lifeless bodies washed up ashore.
Dark haired girl, you
Rub ashened elbows with the window sill,
Cursing your neck for not being long enough.
You can barely see inside
But you already know how this scene goes,
This is how it looks like from the outside.
You know you will still wear your pretty smile,
Even though it’s too tight around your chest,
As you serve up today’s cut of your soul
And lay it on his plate beside the vegetables
Then feel every bite tear your flesh from bone.
But you still won’t say a word.
Sad eyed girl,
You will learn to upturn the tables and raise hell,
Pick up your self respect laying at the door
Where he will no longer be wiping dusty lies off his feet
As he walks in to claim your body,
Because you own it, you always did.
My heart stops as you reach out
And take my face in your hands.
No words bear more meaning
Than those that curl out of your mouth.
Hurt wraps its fingers around longing
As they both fight to be felt.
Neither of us is surprised by how it plays out:
Me too, I say as I match your smile.
It ends, as usual, when we start pretending.
You say it’s complicated between us
I nod in silent agreement;
It only is because you make it so.
Would you stay if I
In my mind
You handle it all
Way better than I do.
Look for places
To get lost in
Yet never lose yourself.
That somehow always gather moss.
That’s the thing with me
I never am content in being
As I am,
Build my house
With your words
Then look for your heart
In phrases you uttered
I still remember how it began, you creeping up on me
Like the changing of seasons, I barely noticed the falling leaves.
But I will always swear I saw you coming,
Just to have something to go back and forth about
Because I like our idle banter, and the look in your eyes
When you rise up to a challenge.
Like when the ground was soaked in rain water,
And you led us down that mossy trail in the park .
After two hours I knew we were lost, but I didn’t mention it
For you wore determination like war paint on your face
And when you took my hand just as we found our way back,
I promised myself not to read too much into it.
So when the world was covered in white, and you had to leave,
It took me by surprise how much I feared saying good-bye.
But you stayed a while longer and helped me make a snowman.
I used smooth stones for his eyes so when he would finally melt
We’d know the exact spot where I let the words slip out,
Right before you sighed and pulled me in.
It’s getting warmer every day, there’s something in the air.
It’s the changing of the seasons, I know how to look out for it.
Isn’t it funny, how we all
Wear our hearts on our sleeves?
We keep them hidden
Like the magician does his cards.
We look each other in the eyes
As we promise not to let ourselves fall.
Slowly, you and I make our way
Towards the cliff’s edge.
When we finally come to our senses
We will throw blame like stones
As we pick up our broken pieces.
I will shake the dust off my clothes
Swearing to deny it all as long as you do.
And even as the tears choke me
I will not admit it to myself,
Because I can’t let you win.
Old friend, it’s strange meeting you here.
Remember the last time we met, we
Shot for the clouds, but never quite made it
So we built castles in the air
And laughed our hearts out
To soothe the sting of disappointment.
Here we are again, this time you and I
Are far away from home but I can
Still make out your face in the moonlight
That plays hide and seek in the clouds.
You look me in the eyes and it scares me,
What if we did make it this time?
I can almost hear you whisper it,
That we’ll not let history repeat herself.
That’s the sound of an adventure to me
Ringing louder than my fluttering heartbeat.
My lost wanderer,
We really must stop
Meeting like this, half hidden
In shadows in this deserted alley
Where the smell of your skin weaves
And winds itself with the stink
Of cigarette smoke and alcohol.
When will you finally let me
Try to find my smile again?
Maybe I shall find it by
Playing back the sad tones
Dancing in your voice and
The way you sing my name,
Then say I look better today.
I will not forget the sound of your
Footsteps approaching from behind
That rings in my head for hours
Long after you disappear into the night.
Don’t you know that after you leave
I walk to the wall where
I rested my head as I held your body?
Where my dress soaked up your blood
Too precious to let it flow into the soil,
Where I slept with you in my arms
Waiting for help to come, where
I watched your eyes lose the light,
And you wasted your last breath saying my name.
How do I clothe my half naked attraction?
Though it has been quite a while,
We all know how these things go:
The secret glances you think went unnoticed,
Heart stopping everytime you hear that name…
Then how every touch sears into your skin
And your arm hairs ripple in…protest?
Maybe I could start acting a little less sober,
Like letting you see beyond what’s in these eyes
And letting myself feel the feather light
Caress of your voice on my heart.
I could even let you draw from my lips
The tales of my tragic past
And let you crawl into my wounds.